At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
