In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
