And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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