Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
