While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
