I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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