Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
