so let's talk penis.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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