Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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