i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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