im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Randomize