my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
