he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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