what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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