I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
