I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
