saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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