im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We got so high we made milksteak
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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