i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
