So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
