No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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