no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
