If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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