I bet he comes in French.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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