Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
