So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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