I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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