Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Are we still banned from the library?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
