Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
