Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
