i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize