She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
