Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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