You're my little dorito
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
