There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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