i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
