Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
