what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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