I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
