I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
