i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
