Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
