If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Operation Purity has been aborted
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
