think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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