You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
