My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
