My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
