Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I AM VODKA MAN
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
