im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize