So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
