Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
