what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
