There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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