DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
