I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
