arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
