yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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