I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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