it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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